Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Try and Keep Up.

So after a break of what seemed like ionic proportions, Squirrel Droppings Bernard Hinault is back to the press room and has been joined by the newest edition, Sloane.

After interviewing for the past 9 months with S.D., Sloane was finally hired June 27th at 6:58am. She was exactly what S.D. was looking for in a young eager reporter. 7lbs 2oz and 19inches!

Unbeknownst to both Sloane and Bernard, S.D. bugged the press room to record their first conversation..

B.H. You know this is my beat.

S.L. Beat?

B.H. Yeah, I do the interviews here.

S.L. I'm only a baby I can't really talk so I don't know how my questions would sound.

B.H. Yeah, I don't have lips and I'm actually a dog, so maybe we can work off of each others cues and score some great interviews.

S.L. I think I just poop'd in my diaper!

B.H. sniff sniff. yep!

A pretty harmless/uneventfull meeting. Sloane and Bernard set off for their first interview together.

They find themselves at TNW to interview some of their favorite people. In attendance is the entire PT cycling team.... Duh. First to stop for a chat is the one they call King.

King: Hey Bernard, who is your little partner?

BH: Sloan she just showed up the other day. I don't know if I like her.

King: Wow! Don't be a hater.

BH: I don't hate her, but she cries alot and she stinks!

SL: Burp.

BH: So I guess you won a race now?

King: AZ state championships!

SL: Fart fart.... I'm hungry!

BH: And an upgrade?

King: Cat III!!

In walks the Wingman.

WM: Hey I won a race, how come you never interview'd me?

BH: Um.... who are you again?

WM: No respect! I bury myself for this team and no one notices when I win.

In walks the Boss.

LA: Oh we noticed bro. It's about time you took one...two for yourself!

SL: Hi Louie! How many races have you won now?

In walks the Enforcer.

KB: F him..... I won a race too!

SL: Holy Crap! how many races has this team won now?

LA: No body knows.... your lazy dad is supposed to keep track!

SL: I think he's been a little preocupied for the past couple of months. He'll catch up, never you fret!

In walks Pamela Anderson.

SL: Look lunch!!

BH: Whoops wrong pair kiddo!

In walks the Chicken.

MA: It's okay. I'll take care of her.

LA: Who? Pam or Sloane?

Pam leaves the room, realizing this is the wrong party. The chicken quickly scurries after her.

MA: (screaming) Come back!!

KB: Okay. This is out of control and I am board as hell with this interview, I'm outta here!

LA: Me too!

In walks Robocop, The Deciple, RS, Polako and the Squirrel.

AS: Why don't you two interview these guys as well.

SL: Jesus dad, with so many wins and my limited vocabulary we can't interview everyone!

BH: I can do it, I can do it!

AS: Okay, shoot.

BH: Robo, what is your favorite color?

RC: Beer and hot weather.

BH: Deciple, have you ever ate a cat turd?

D: Nope.

BH: I have! They're delicious!

BH: RS, how come you are so strong.

RS: Cause I don't know any better.

AS: Not quite the questions we were looking for Bernard! You ate a cat turd?

BH: You left the cat box open! It was so inviting!

AS: Okay, okay.

A little too much going on for Sloane and Bernard to handle with 90% of the PT guys here and bombarding S.D.'s two ace reporters with their questions and concerns. Looks like back to the drawing board for the two of them!

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